Not only do we hear from dancers, but we have also received quite a bit of correspondence from club patrons who have befriended some of the entertainers. Usually they share their concern of one dancer in particular whom they have been drawn close to. For some men, the relationship takes a hard turn after falling in love and then ruthlessly demeaning her for her profession. But for the most part, many of the men we hear from define themselves as Christians with an intense desire to share the Word with a particular dancer. More often than not, they are propelled by their knowledge of what God says about sin and their own emotions for the dancer. This complicates matters in the lives of these men, often bringing shame, heartbreak and confusion to those of them who truly understand
the depth of God's Word.

There are plenty of dancers out there who have those special customers that they feel most comfortable with. Men who seem "harmless enough" to where the girls are comfortable enough to allow them a little closer into their personal world. However, what sometimes ends up happening is that the men grow to develop deep emotions for these women, while the women never view the relationship in this manner. The outcome is devastating to the men, as they are left to watch helplessly while someone they love dearly, slowly self destructs.

Besides the normal industry pitfalls that are to be expected, those of us involved in ministering to people in the adult entertainment industry are constantly having to contend with undoing the hypocritical stereotypes that have been cast...generally by those who mean well. Many of our challenges are brought about either by Christians protesting their intolerance and disgust, or by those who are regular customers with hidden agendas of their own. Either scenario exposes the dancer to a twisted version of God's Word and is ultimately the result of personal, selfish manipulation that ends up negatively effecting numerous aspects of the dancers life, rather than uplifing and encouraging her.

However,we cannot and will not say, as we have heard too many Christians say, "If you are really a Christian, you wouldn't be in those bars, associating with those women." These are the people we have been called to minister to and we will be the last people to dare judge anyone. Because God calls us all to different things in this life, it is wrong for us to point fingers. But if you are a Christian, you know that an outward transformation is evidence that Jesus is at work in your life. That means that old habits die, desires of the flesh are brought into submission and your inherent sin nature is changed to reflect HIS transforming power. So, for those of you who are preaching the Gospel with hellfire and brimstone while sitting there lustfully leering at the dancers, or if you are leading a dancer to believe that only you can help her out of this lifestyle, I cannot stress enough the immense damage you are causing by your actions. So, what we do suggest to all of you who desire to help the exotic dancer or who profess to be a Christian yet frequently visit these establishments, is to take
a hard look at your motivation.

Are you going because you feel like family among the patrons and dancers? (As a Christian, you shouldn't need to seek your acceptance in others.) Are you there because you want to "save" these women? (Contrary to what many believe, this isn't a rescue mission.) Are you buying table dances to help the dancers earn a living? (For the cost of a table dance, you can have an meaningful conversation instead.) Are you doing things for her expecting something...anything in return? (Even a change of heart, or expecting her to take interest in you is an expectation and makes you no different than the next guy.)

I know that some of you have become very close to those in the adult entertainment industry, and while there are unique and special relationships that have developed out of your associations with industry professionals, there is also a harsh reality here. To the club owner, you are merely another round of drinks. To the dancer, you are often just another tip. To the bouncer, you are another potential problem to contend with. Yes, your money may buy you smiles, hugs and acknowledgements, but this is a business and an underlying business savvy is what motivates those who have made it their livelihood. I don't say this to be cruel.
I say it because it is truth.

Women will dance as long as there exist men who will come to see them and pay them well for their talents. It's simply the law of supply and demand. It has been going on since time began. Unfortunately, for many dancers, life usually revolves around those people she has come to call family within the industry. But if help is really what you want to offer the women of this industry, there are many other ways to go about it besides fostering her purpose for being there. She keeps the job because few other jobs can rival the money that can be made in such a short span of time. She is there because you pay for her talents. The truth is, she will make money whether you show up tonight or not. As much as you may want to help her, don't perpetuate her reason for being there by being there. It's a vicious cycle that traps more women than it releases and your presence gives purpose to keep her in this lifestyle long after she may really want to continue in it.

I know that the reality of this may be more difficult than my words convey, but if your concern for her is truly genuine, then you have to stretch your relationship to areas outside of the club environment. You may very well be the catalyst that propells her life in the right direction, but just as the parable of the sower (Matthew 13:18-23) says, when seed is cast upon thorny ground, the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches are sure to choke it out.Fertile ground is outside of local gentlemen's club,
not inside.